Over the past couple months I have been so busy with life that my life was slipping away from me. I was so caught up in the newness of College Station activities; and then time home over break was consumed with the desire to cram everything into my schedule before I left for Texas again. What I thought was living life to its fullness and enjoying every moment was really ignoring life's big picture in order to take pleasure in the moment. Now that the newness has worn off and my vacation is over, I am left with real life responsibilities. All the drastic changes that occurred last semester - and even some over Christmas break - finally hit me, and I could feel all their sting. I know all of this stems from emotion, but that emotion stems from a particular mindset that was long overdue for an adjustment.
With the new year will come a new set of hardships, and I want to be prepared for when they come my way. This has forced me to evaluate my mindset. Most Christians know that we are commanded to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Matt 22:37); but not many of us have really taken that verse apart to see what we are being commanded to do. For almost two weeks, I had been sobbing away my sorrows and burying my burdens instead of seeking help. I was allowing my mind to torture me about all the sad things I've had to go through and allowed myself to believe that I was alone. But over a week ago, I went to a Breakaway Bible study conference and my heart was awakened to what I needed to do. I started studying. Anytime I had the urge to burst into tears, I grabbed my Bible or a Bible study book.
It's amazing to know that God is speaking directly to you when you discover that the very words you need to hear are put right in front of you. My mother bought me a Bible study by Elizabeth George last semester entitled "Loving God with all Your Mind." At the time, I thought my mind was on a pretty good track, so I set the book aside. Little did I know that God would use this very book to help me through the next semester. I came home from Breakaway and reached up on my shelf to see what I could find. I grabbed this book and couldn't put it down. We are to love God with all our mind. My constant meditation on my pain was hurtful to myself and also disobedient to God.
As I am reading this amazing book and attending a few Bible studies, I am rediscovering my joy in Christ. I know that I am always loved by God, and He is enough for me. By filling my mind with God's promises and His word, I am overwhelmed with joy, no matter what my circumstances. I can face the trials and tribulation because I have Christ by my side. Nothing can rob me of my joy because my joy is safe with Him. Today, I can smile and be excited for what God is doing in my life. Living life is about glorifying God; and that is when I am living life to its fullest.
Some verses that have helped me:
James 1:2-4
Philippians 4:8
1 Thessalonians 5:15-23
2 Timothy 1:9
Romans 8:35
Ephesians 2:10
John 1:12
Song that currently depicts me:
"Happy Girl" by Martina McBride
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsQi3bvgM9s
Radio station that is helping me:
NGEN 93.3FM
